50+ Best Dad Jokes
That Are Actually Funny

🍕 50+ Best Dad Jokes

1. Why did the scarecrow get promoted?
   Because he was outstanding in his field.
2. I only know 25 letters of the alphabet.
   I don’t know y.
3. Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants?
   In case he got a hole in one.
4. What do you call fake spaghetti?
   An impasta.
5. Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long?
   Because then it would be a foot.
6. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes.
   She gave me a hug.
7. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
   They don’t have the guts.
8. Want to hear a construction joke?
   I’m still working on it.
9. Why did the photo go to jail?
   It was framed.
10. What’s brown and sticky?
    A stick.
11. Why did I quit my job as a banker?
    Because I lost interest.
12. Because I lost interest.
    It ran out of juice.

Best Dad Jokes You Can’t Miss

13. What did the ocean say to the beach?
    Nothing, it just waved.
14. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity.
    It’s impossible to put down!
15. I used to play piano by ear…
    But now I use my hands.
16. Why don’t eggs tell jokes?
    They’d crack each other up.
17. I told my friend not to trust atoms.
    They make up everything.
18. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
    Nacho cheese.
19. How do you organize a space party?
    You planet.
20. Why do bees have sticky hair?
    Because they use honeycombs.
21. I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger.
    Then it hit me.
22. What do you call two birds in love?
    Tweethearts.
23. Why can’t you trust stairs?
    They’re always up to something.
24. I’m on a seafood diet.
    I see food and I eat it.
25. What do you call a belt made of watches?
    A waist of time.

26. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
    A carrot.
27. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
    She looked surprised.
28. I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon.
    I’ll let you know.
29. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?
    An abdominal snowman.
30. I got hit in the head with a can of soda.
    Luckily, it was a soft drink.
31. What’s the best time to go to the dentist?
    Tooth-hurty.
32. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
    It’s okay. He woke up.
33. My dog used to chase people on a bike…
    It got so bad I had to take his bike away!
34. I used to be addicted to soap…
    But I’m clean now.
35. Why did the banana go to the doctor?
    Because it wasn’t peeling well.
36. Why did the tomato turn red?
    Because it saw the salad dressing.

37. What did one wall say to the other wall?
    I’ll meet you at the corner.
38. Why don’t some couples go to the gym?
    Because some relationships don’t work out.
39. I invented a new word yesterday:
    Plagiarism.
40. Why was the stadium so cold?
    Because it was full of fans.
41. How does a penguin build its house?
    Igloos it together.
42. What do you call a lazy kangaroo?
    A pouch potato.
43. Why don’t you ever see elephants hiding in trees?
    Because they’re really good at it.
44. I asked my dog what’s two minus two.
    He said nothing.
45. Why did the man put his money in the freezer?
    He wanted cold hard cash.
46. Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
    Because it felt crummy.
47. What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room in the house?
    The living room.
48. Why don’t oysters donate to charity?
    Because they’re shellfish.
49. Why did the man get hit by a bike every day?
    He was stuck in a vicious cycle.
50. What do you call a cow with no legs?
    Ground beef.

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