🧼50+ Clean Dad Jokes
That Are Totally
Wholesome & Hilarious!

🧼 50+ Clean Dad Jokes

1. Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
   Because it felt crumby.
2. How do you make holy water?
   You boil the hell out of it.
3. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
   Supplies!
4. Why did the chicken join a band?
   Because it had the drumsticks.
5. What do you call a dog magician?
   A labracadabrador.
6. Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long?
   Because then it would be a foot.
7. How does a penguin build its house?
   Igloos it together.
8. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
   A carrot.
9. Why did the scarecrow get promoted?
   Because he was outstanding in his field.
10. What do you call a fish without eyes?
    Fsh.
11. Why don’t some couples go to the gym?
    Because some relationships don’t work out.
12. What do you call a fake noodle?
    An impasta.

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13. Why did the bicycle fall over?
    It was two-tired.
14. What’s brown and sticky?
    A stick.
15. Why don’t eggs tell jokes?
    They’d crack each other up.
16. How do cows stay up to date?
    They read the moos-paper.
17. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
    In case he got a hole in one.
18. What do you call an alligator in a vest?
    An investigator.
19. Why are elevator jokes so good?
    They work on many levels.
20. What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room in the house?
    The living room.
21. How do trees access the internet?
    They log on.
22. What did the grape do when it got stepped on?
    Nothing—it just let out a little wine.
23. Why did the computer go to therapy?
    It had too many issues.
24. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
    Nacho cheese.
25. Why can’t you trust atoms?
    Because they make up everything.

26. Why did the math book look sad?
    Because it had too many problems.
27. How do you organize a space party?
    You planet.
28. What kind of shoes do ninjas wear?
    Sneakers.
29. Why did the tomato blush?
    Because it saw the salad dressing.
30. How do you fix a cracked pumpkin?
    With a pumpkin patch.
31. What do you call a bear with no teeth?
    A gummy bear.
32. How do you catch a squirrel?
    Climb a tree and act like a nut.
33. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
    Frostbite.
34. Why did the music teacher go to jail?
    Because she got caught with too many notes.
35. What did one wall say to the other?
    I’ll meet you at the corner.
36. What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind?
    A maybe.

37. Why did the coffee file a police report?
    It got mugged.
38. How does a moon cut its hair?
    Eclipse it.
39. What’s a frog’s favorite candy?
    Lollihops.
40. Why did the belt go to jail?
    It was holding up a pair of pants.
41. What do you call a sleeping bull?
    A bulldozer.
42. What’s a cat’s favorite color?
    Purr-ple.
43. How does a scientist freshen their breath?
    With experi-mints.
44. What happens to a frog’s car when it breaks down?
    It gets toad.
45. What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter?
    An irrelephant.
46. What did the big flower say to the little flower?
    Hi, bud!
47. Why was the math book stressed?
    It had too many variables.
48. Why did the bakery hire a security guard?
    To protect the dough.
49. How do you know the ocean is friendly?
    It waves.
50. Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?
    Because they lactose.

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