🤣 35+ Long Dad Jokes
That’ll Make You Groan, Giggle, and Gasp!

Not every joke has to be short and snappy sometimes, the long setup is
what makes the punchline hit harder!
Our collection of long dad jokes is full of buildups, puns, and classic twists that only
dads can pull off with a straight face. Whether you’re looking for a funny read,
a story style zinger, or just love watching people squirm while they wait for the punchline,
these jokes will deliver. Grab a coffee, sit back, and
get ready to laugh out loud… eventually!

🤣 Long Dad Jokes

  1. My dad walked into the kitchen holding a banana and a hammer. I asked,
    What are you doing?
    He said:
    I’m about to fix this potassium deficiency the manly way.
  2. Last night I dreamed I was a muffler.
    I woke up exhausted.
    Then Dad said:
    I guess I exhausted myself.
  3. I told my dad:
    I was afraid of speed bumps.
    He said:
    Don’t worry, son. I used to be scared too… but I’m slowly getting over it.
  4. We were walking past a cemetery when Dad pointed and said:
    You know, people are just dying to get in there.
  5. I asked Dad:
    Do you believe in love at first sight?
    He said:
    I did… until I met your mother.
    Took me three awkward conversations and a shared cheeseburger.
  6. Dad once said:
    You know what’s faster than light?
    I said, Nothing!
    He grinned:
    Your mom when I ask her to help me fix the router.
  7. I walked in and saw Dad staring at a can of orange soda.
    I asked, What are you doing?
    He whispered:
    Watching Fanta-sy.
  8. Dad once bought a broken clock for five bucks.
    I asked why?
    He said:
    Because even a broken clock is right twice a day. That’s more accurate than my boss.
  9. I told Dad I wanted to be a musician.
    He replied:
    You better note that you’ll need scale and composition… and a real job.
  10. Dad said:
    I’ve started a company selling invisible products.
    I asked, Have you made any sales?
    He said:
    I can’t tell, no one’s seen them yet.
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A creative long dad joke where the dad says he pressed the “donut key” at the gym instead of continuing, showing off typical dad logic and humor.

Whew! That was a ride and we’re just getting started. Long dad jokes don’t just deliver laughs… they take you on a journey of groans!

🤣 10 More Long Dad Jokes

  1. I once asked Dad if he wanted to go to the gym.
    He said: I tried that once.
    They told me to ‘press any key’ to continue.
    I pressed the donut key.
  2. Dad entered the kitchen dramatically and said:
    We’re out of coffee.
    I repeat, code brown…
    this is not a drill!
  3. I told Dad I was stressed.
    He pulled out his toolbox and said:
    Let’s fix it with a dad joke.
    It made things worse but I smiled anyway.
  4. Dad said:
    I told your mom she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
    I asked, What did she say?
    He said, Nothing… she just looked surprised.
  5. Dad told me,
    he used to be a banker…
    But I lost interest.
  6. Dad told me:
    He used to be a professional hide and seek player.
    I said, Seriously?
    He whispered, I’m still undefeated. No one’s found me emotionally since 1984.
  7. I asked Dad why he talks to himself.
    He said, Because I need expert advice.
    And the committee up here, points to his head
    never lets me down.
  8. Dad told me:
    I used to be addicted to soap…
    He paused dramatically.
    But now I’m clean.
  9. We were at a restaurant and I said: Dad, I’m full.
    He nodded and said:
    Hi Full, I’m Dad.
    Then he ordered dessert anyway. For him.
  10. Dad once took a broken chair out of the garage.
    I asked: Are you throwing that away?
    He said:
    Nope. I’m chairishing the memories.
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A funny long dad joke where the son says, “Dad, I think I’m invisible,” and the dad humorously replies, “Who said that?” a classic example of long dad joke wordplay.

Still hanging in there? Good! That’s the magic of long dad jokes slow burns, silly turns, and punchlines that make it totally worth the wait.

  1. I said:
    Dad, I think I’m invisible.
    He replied, Who said that?
    Then walked away laughing.
  2. I asked: Why he never uses bookmarks.
    He said:
    Son, real readers remember the page…
    unless they fall asleep mid-sentence.
  3. Dad told me,
    He opened a bakery on the moon.
    He said business was slow…
    Because there was no atmosphere.
  4. I once said:
    Dad, do you have a map?
    He said, For what?
    I said, Because I just got lost in this awkward conversation.
  5. Dad said:
    He was writing a book on reverse psychology.
    I asked if I could read it.
    He shouted, Don’t you dare!
  6. I walked in to find Dad sitting quietly with sunglasses on.
    I asked, What’s with the shades?
    He said:
    I’m throwing shade… silently.
  7. Dad once bought 100 pencils.
    I asked why.
    He said:
    Because you never know when you’ll need to draw a conclusion.
  8. Dad walked into the room holding,
    Two eggs and a wrench.
    Before I could ask, he said:
    I’m making scrambled hardware this morning.
  9. When I was little, I asked where babies come from.
    Dad said:
    Well… when a man loves a woman,
    and they both have Netflix, a couch, and weak willpower…
  10. I asked Dad how to get rid of hiccups.
    He said:
    Hold your breath, count to ten, spin in a circle, and call your grandmother.
    It worked. Out of confusion.
A hilarious Long Dad Joke featuring a dad exaggeratedly saying, “I’ve literally told you a million times I don’t!” after being accused of exaggerating everything.

You’ve officially graduated from short jokes to long dad joke legend status. Only the truly brave can handle this much build up with this many puns!

  1. I said:
    Dad, why do you always exaggerate everything?
    He replied:
    I’ve literally told you a million times I don’t!
  2. Dad told me he once dated a girl who was a baker.
    It didn’t work out,
    He said.
    She couldn’t knead me emotionally.
  3. I asked Dad:
    If I was adopted.
    He smiled and said:
    Not yet… but we’re keeping the option open.
  4. I told Dad I was feeling cold.
    He handed me a spoon.
    I said, What’s this for?
    He said, To stir up some warm feelings.
  5. We were watching a mystery movie and I said,
    I bet the butler did it.
    Dad said,
    Classic mistake. It was clearly the director, making us suspect the butler!
  6. I told Dad I was bored.
    He handed me a rake.
    I said, What’s this for?
    He said, You said you were board, so I thought you could help me with the yard.

These long dad jokes tested your patience and your funny bone and if you made it this far, you deserve a standing dad-ovation! 👏🤣

✨ Why Long Dad Jokes Hit Differently

  1. Suspense + Surprise
    The storytelling draws you in, while the punchline lands unexpectedly.
  2. More Time = More Connection
    A longer joke encourages eye contact, anticipation and eventually laughter.
  3. Emotional Payoff
    Spend 20 seconds in suspense, get 2 seconds of reward aka dopamine rush.

Loved These Long Dad Jokes?

Survived the Long Dad Jokes Marathon?
If you laughed or groaned your way through all these epic punchlines, you’re officially part of the Long Dad Joke Club! 🎉
Don’t keep the laughs to yourself, share this post with a fellow pun-lover, bookmark it for later, and when you’re ready for quicker laughs, check out our Short Dad Jokes collection next!


👉 Also check out: 250 Dad Jokes That Are Actually Long.

No matter the length, our Long Dad Jokes always deliver a punch — eventually. So come back often for more slow-burning laughs!

Loved these? Explore more of our Dad Jokes here.